Hometown

    住在鄉下或是城市好，這不是托福的口說題目而已。高中畢業才知道有人聽不懂我說的客家話，大學以前沒有看過台北人，也一直習慣於生長於苗栗客家庄。工作以後，我選擇住在家裡，但是我週週都要去台北。在大都市台北，我盡可能的記下我走過的路名建築物，用諧音、圖案等要連結成我頭腦裡片段的台北。忠孝仁愛信義幾段幾段東西向與南北向的中山新生...交叉口，又或新莊板橋木柵各在哪方向，一個鄉下人想要記住他短暫的台北。長大後每次去台北總是Transportation 105*2+MRT，很少獨自留下來閒晃散步。
    25歲過去很久了，買了自己的汽車，我發現我的開車習慣常停留在鄉下。不經意的雙黃線迴轉，紅燈確認沒警察後右轉左轉都行。上回高雄自以為可以停車被拖吊，等等等，發現到鄉下生活很Cozy，比較可以恣意地來，但是相對的，也就是造成別人的不便，或是意外發生的可能。在高雄被拖吊時，突然有種懷念都市中規規矩矩的感覺，雖然台北很不人性化，好像被什麼家鎖住，但為什麼大家還是要往那個地方集中靠近。一年前，我停車不會付錢，一年後，兩百塊的停車費我會自然的繳納，如果必須。一個有秩序的地方，是不可能兼顧便宜、方便與恣意的。昨日去看兩部120塊的電影，婦人就大辣辣的像是電影配樂般說著電話，這種是人情味、或是未開化的人性。東南亞許多國家有著最幸福的居民生活著，縱使交通堵塞、所得不太高、生活設施不完善等，歐美等先進國家則有高收入，但是卻生活緊繃。那住在台灣的我，到底要往哪邊去發展，城市、鄉下、歐美或是東南亞。
    一切都是Trade-off，韓國有韓國的好，台灣有台灣的美，總不能身在台灣卻總是看到別人的美與好。不管要去哪邊，我還是想要紀念一下昨日看的電影，逆光飛翔的小潔。

2012 Moon Festival

    Yesterday after few beer, together with my brother to join the Moon festival party for the lucky draw. The show is so so, and it's to cold to be outside, but everyone there for the Vios. I can see the recession of our town, and the wishes of the countryside people.
    Last night, our family also had the BBQ together. Almost everyone's home, and we had a photo with grandmom. 20,000 cc Beer plus 5000 cc Wisky, how could I sleep at 2 and wake up at 6? I think I need more exercise and healthy food to keep my body strong as usual. We family had a great time, not easy for such a family to spend time together and enjoy we just enjoy the moment.
    For lunch time, another grandmom family, almost every young man had a newcoming baby. It's nice to have kids for a family. Different feeling amongh two grandmom's family, but I do pretty much enjoy my life.
    Today it's also amazing. Motobike ride at the early morning with a little bit hangover. TurorABC at 9:30, and visit grandmom again. She had her quilt sun burned, and the quilt is used already as my grandmom's marriage? I think she use this one day by day for more than 70 years. How could you imagin the traditional Haka family life. I was lucky, there's some Haka genes in my body.
    TuturABC again in the afternoon, I met a guy who used to own a 200 million company. He had a Farrari, but drove only three times in five years. Everyday 5:30 work till the midnight. Now he slod everything in Britian, and star over in Philipins. He told me I would never want to be a rich guy. How wonderful to have the crush in my life, especially for a beginning worker who always wants money. Well, I need more time to think about what he taught me.
    At night, we went to Miaoli for the firework, and had the concert of 蘇打綠. They did a good job, and made the audience quite enjoy the night. The firework is great, and also the my county. In the afternoon, I went to the new house again, I need to do more research for my first own house.

2012 Conner @ Vietnam

9/2 Sunday - Ha noi arrival

9/3 Monday - Ha noi

9/4 Tuesday - Night  train to Huế

9/5 Wednesday - stay in Huế

9/6 Thursday - stay in Huế

9/7 Friday - Night train to Ha noi

9/8 Saturday - Ahead to Halong Bay

9/9 Sunday - Halong Bay

9/10 Monday - Night Bus to Ha noi

I came to Vietnam because the 300 USD plane ticket.

I spent less than three hours preparing my trip including my package, and booking two nights through Agoda. Fortunately I got my visa six hours ahead my plane take off.

I am a young man, have nothing to lose. Although there are some rumors or bad facts about Vietnam on the internet, I still decided to come, with some film in my Nikon and few condom. 

As I am in Ha noi, I realize how causal my trip is. Without transformer for my mac and cell phone, fortunately no need to transform here. How could one made this mistake after traveling more than ten countries?

Lots of bad experiences of backpacking in Vietnam on the internet, I read some and print others out to remind myself for some situation. Honestly speaking, I haven’t had time read , and no need to read that at all. I had a great time for pass five days, and there are still five more good days waiting me.  

I met a Vietnamese girl named Maya on the plane, she join the AIESEC working in Taiwan this summer. She paid me the taxi from Ha noi airport to downtown and bought me a sim card for communication. As we were in the airport, I saw her negotiate with the local taxi driver, with the gentle manner but effective I think. Actually I can’t sleep well for someone paid me, I suppose to pay that. It’s really a blessing. 

First night i had noodle on the street with the price on the wall, because i read someone says the store might change the price on the manu and some extra cost. First day time, I had to learn how to cross the road without any sign. I think I am a good learner, now I can easily do that. Today I met three guy who is nice to me, one cut my sim card in to micro sim card with big scissor for free, then as i bought cranberry, letting the boss to take money from my wallet, paid normal price as others for 20,000, nothing else happen. At night, I sitting on the street with beer, little bit far from the old town area, I got two cups and   boss light me a cigarette, paid only 10,000(0.5 USD). At night, I think I order peanut, but the boss give me cigarette, it’s also a blessing. 

Second day, my friends show me around Ha noi with motobike. You won’t believe that how bustle the street is, maybe 10 times busy than Taipei. It’s interesting to have locals with me, we try some traditional food including noodles, eggs with chicken...so on. At the restaurants, I still can’t believe that I am in Vietnam, how could I be so lucky to be in this moment. Ha  noi railway station are also amazing to me, don’t know why, just a moment reminds me the station on New York, Taipei, Berlin, Tokyo. 

Night train to Hue, I met a amazing girl sitting next to me. We talk for more than two hours, sharing her trip to me, her family, and her dream to being architecture, and she doesn’t like to wear traditional clothes with long hair, so she cut her hair short. Discussing nearby countries, China, Korea, Malaysia, USA..., could you imagine she is just a high school students, who is 11 years younger than me.  I see the hope of the country, and encourage her to read more books and wish her good luck. She show me where to go, and give me her number in case I have some difficulties. Unbelievable girl gives me a wonderful night. 

I can’t find the hotel I found on the internet, carrying big bag walking more than two hours. Motobike sellers keep following me and try hard to convince me to stay in his hotel. I have no where to go, so say yes to 7 USD/night traditional hotel, which has no maps, no internet, no air-conditioner....That’s OK for me to explore the traditional room for one night. Later I found that I am in Hue, not Hoi an, so the hotel is not No. 60 on the same street. Same mistake as I am in Japan for climbing Mt. Fuji.  

Hue is famos for its historical attractions. I came here on Tuesday, seeing lots of students wearing traditional clothes, that’s really pretty, that’s too bad have no photo. After few days trip in Hue, I have to say that the girls in Hue attracts me more. I had a bike for a day tour, surely without any map but energy riding everywhere. I did got confuse where is the direction, but I am pretty much enjoy that. Now I would like to adress some points of my view:

Here is the currency: 1 USD~20,500

Hue: small bottle water-3,600, KFC set-63,000, noodle-20,000~35,000 Beer-10,000, Bike parking -2~5,000, coffee on the street-7,000, fruit(Rambutan)-10,000, subway bread-5,000-15,000, hotel-USD7-15, Bike rent-20,000 boat trip-100,000

The living cost in Vietnam is not a problem for me, one with normal job in Taiwan. Before my trip, I read some blog discussing the trip in Vietnam, many of them are negative. I do have some nervous as I have my money out, doubting whether I am fooled. Today I rode my bike to countryside, meet some local guys can’t speak english. The bread with meat is only 5,000, and the sugarcane juice is also 5,000. I like these guy, sometimes I pay twice to appreciate they didn’t cheat me. 

Parking in the Palace costs 5,000. I can’t accept that, so I ride around to other side parking to non-people area, soon someone asks me for 5,000. Damn, I waste my time turn whole around for the same price. It’s OK, less 1USD. After the tour in the Palace, I become friends with the guy who charges me. He is cute as I invited him in my picture. Today I am thinking about what’s difference between 2,000 and 5,000? Nothing but feeling for me. And as I bought the train ticket, Maya bought me local student fare first and would like to change to mine, the lady says no for international students. She said international students are richer than locals, no discourt for me. It’s OK, and that’s make sense for me after my bike trip. 

Cheated is not good, and tourists blame locals most for cheating. But in my opinion, being cautious to everything, and also be nice to everyone. I had been sitting on the street for food many times, and the price is acceptable. I don’t know whether I was cheated or not, but I think less than 1 USD for a nice meal and experience is worth enough. Just enjoy the moment even though you got cheated. In my trip, I saw many times the interaction between locals, they are nice to each other. Sometimes we foreigners think they are not friendly enough, I think the gap comes from the language. I have been to Thailand, they are friendly and is a smile country, I think they live for tourism, but in Vietnam, people live in their own way, no urgent intention to make change for someone can’t talk vietnamese.

You can definitely travel to some where well civilized, with lots of Starbucks on the street. Or you can enjoy different culture in the developing country. I believe that 50 years ago in my hometown is quite similar to Vietnam right now, and my grandparents are struggle for their life letting their children to have a better life. Without being cheated, I would never know what’s going on in the real world. That’s part of the journey, just live with that, few thousands Don for such experience is fare enough. And the money you lose from  currency exchange in Taiwan Bank is more than the money you be cheated. 

Night train to Hanoi meeting Maya, I bought the lunch box on the train, I knew the feeling of uncomfortable, afraid to be cheated. But what can i do, just buy lunch box paying 500,000, he said he will change me later. He never come back, and I can’t even recognize him.  Of course I found him later, and he pretend he forgotten, as nothing happen. And there are also some time I found that maybe I was cheated. But as I am on the train, I was thinking about that isn’t that quite reasonably have different price for locals and foreign, just like the train tickets celler saying, they earn a lot. I can accept the different price, but they have to show the price first, or fix and reasonable price for foreigners.  

It’s good to meet maya again, and we went to the busy bus station, 120,000 four hours to Halong Bay. The driver is a little bit slow, and pick some passengers on the street. Lunch with Maya family, I can’t believe that I am having lunch in Vietnamese family and feel comfortable. I don’t know why, everything seems familiar to me, the street, tea , dishes, and family. Do I have ultra adaptability or I am retarded and incapable to sense the world. 

I am lucky enough, to learn how to do some traditional Vietnamese dishes, and I am super fan for any big chief. Cooking outside with the coal, and neighbors talking next to the wall , it’s typical countryside life, with beautiful weather. Parents come back from work, and children preparing the meal, it’s wonderful combination. I can’t see the set in Taiwan now.

In the morning, the market is different, family comes here for diversity breakfast. I had two special, and bought something for my lunch. The weather is quite nice here, Halong Bay looks like a well developing for tourists. Over night trip costs 120 USD for two days trip included three meal. I didn’t take that because too expensive for me. I took the six hours trip for 250,000 don. As I am sitting on the boat, I was thinking about I should take the one night on boast trip because I am just one time visiting, should spend my time with high quality, 120 USD is not so unaffordable, why should I act so poor? But soon after the trip, I feel that I mad the right decision, maybe next time when I am not alone, I should spent one night on the boat with my girl. The trip is nice, and if I could do that, I prefer sitting on some simple small boat instead of tourism boat. But I enjoy the ride, sitting on the roof of the boat. The view is express as I climb to the top of Ti top Island, you mush visit here in your life. I would like to buy some seafood for family, but I can’t negotiate with the vendor, I believe that they would earn more if they mark their price out. Back trip on the roof without clothes, locals treat me a white wine, like the feeling. And meet some local young workers communicating in limit english. By the way, on the boat locals non stop eat make me impressive. 

After the trip, riding along the coast, the weather is too nice, I think the beach is one of the top beach in the world. And I also visit Maya father’s land, no kidding, the land is almost like a mountain and the work must be quite heavy, chicken, duck, and ten types of fruit trees. After today trip, the happy ending is drinking the fresh beer on the street. Two fresh beer with peanut costs you 50 cents. And as I enjoy the moment, Maya went to the market for dinner. How wonderful to be vietnamese man. Dinner time, well, I am a not bad cooker at Taiwan, but here I can only serve the table and wash the dishes. I do enjoy  the meal with Maya’s family, and drink tea together, how good the family is. In the early morning, we back to Hanoi in a crazy Mercedes van. 

Well, it’s like waking up from dreams, in the dream 27 years Conner had a great time in Vietnam. 

notes: 

I meet some Taiwanese tourism, I think that;s a little bit noisy, I can’t see any difference from some from China. 

In Hue, the vendor asks three western young girls where are they from, they said we from China in a frivolous way. 

It’s quite easy to be lost anywhere in Vietnam, remember to memorize some important building, lake or river.

Luckily, I can watch US Open here, and it’s interesting no ad between sets. 

Remember to bring some gifts from Taiwan, you can’t expect what would happen, I think Kaoliang wine is best, maybe HTC is ok if not too expensive.

After eating different foods in Vietnam, I had to admit that the food here is awesome, and this morning I had the beef noodle, quite similar to Tainan row beef soup, but better here. 

I change money in the local golden store, it’s embarrassing his first time seeing NTD, and I think lots of people in the world don’t know where is Taiwan. Try harder to promote. 
I have been tp the some suburban region, hear that 3,000 USD for a marriage. I feel bad as I sitting back the moto, because some man in Taiwan have this idea. It's wired and not healthy, a lesson for me to think about it.

A free year after 25

   工作一年了，今晚Federer贏了，我想要分享我一年的生活，讓年輕人剛踏入社會不寂寞。一年裡，我存了半百萬元，買了汽車與腳踏車，經濟收入方面，我每日汲汲營營在思考，但是發現能改變的並不太多。
    我是一個學長姐們不容易與分享的人，所以除了養老及球隊的學長姐，我幾乎很難與稍長輩詳談。我學核工，以往人家都去TPC、INER、AEC，這一年裡，我接觸了六七八個工作，拿了五個Offer，也同時幾個Job一起幹，每天可以自由運用時間，但除了吃喝玩樂外，我是真的都在學習工作，只有一個晚上用Facebook跟剛認識不久的女生聊天。逝去的工作機會有酬庸談不攏，而放棄去美國受訓的免費機票食宿及薪水，機師Fail就真是機緣不足，每每經過桃園高速公路，不免對著綠色大樓多看兩眼。
    鼓勵大學生念書之外，多一些娛樂，記得交個男女朋友，及許多朋友們，因為能白吃白喝聚在一起無憂無慮時光真不多。研究生其實可以很輕鬆，建議可以多出來與公司接觸，那怕兼差也不錯，增加收入也增加見識，更重要是讓自己了解以後不想要幹嘛。年輕還容許自己的傲氣與力氣恣意發揮，大不了Quit，You have nothing to lose!! 一次與老師談到，那個領域我不怎麼熟，他很直接地說:你剛畢業，你懂什麼東西。This is most important one。你要知道你真的在大人眼裡，蝦咪巄博撒摟用，你就是只有文憑，表示你有Potential 可以在未來勝任一些工作。年輕人要不要在意薪水，他媽的我只在意薪水，但是聽了長輩說法，我真的也覺得要慢慢經營自己的工作資歷，因為你現在見到的所有你想要變成他那樣的，20多歲他還在喝奶你也不知道，記得要看遠一些，或許40歲是我們開始要飛黃騰達的時候，但前面的15年你是要積極嘗試與累積實力的。
    工作的生活平平淡淡的，比當兵好一些外，還有經濟自由性也滿有趣的。一天划龍舟，同戴太陽眼鏡的學弟問我多少錢，我思考了一下要說七千還八千，結果他問我幾百?? 學生真的很可愛。一年裡，我開心曾經去恣意地玩樂了幾回，泰國、馬來西亞、花東、尖石，還有一些球賽運動的。一年裡，工作見了一些人，我更有決心要出國了，以前曾經想過為了喜歡的女生出國可能博士會念不完，還有想著他媽的我都念博士，全世界都也可以PHD了，隨著時間過去，研究助理中可以知道自己也有求知的慾望以及以前有目標夢想的出國，也滿美的。
    加油，記得不斷向外拓展同時，也關愛一些弱勢及無限Support你的家人。

Work Day

 I was late for work on Monday morning because a little bit hangover. I was informed I fail the radiological protection physician exam. And the stock also falls 200 points on my blue Monday.

    I should have spent some time reading the bid of proton therapy on the weekend. But I choose to relax myself to enjoy the easy life. These two days, I had a  meeting with experts invited by Yonglin. I was the youngest at that meeting, and I also late for that because the traffic. How dare I am. Everyone in the meeting has his own story. Some are experienced in BOT projects, some are project manager involve in electrical power system , piping and air-conditioner. What the most impressed me is the architecture group whose English all sounds like native speaker.

    Last night, I had the most expensive dinner in my life. The ambiance there is perfect and I am satisfied being served, or be treated as rich. At that time, I can easily forget who I am and what’s the value of myself. I just want to enjoy the beautiful night. The boss must be an unbelievable businessman. And I had to sleep in Taipei in case of being late again. I spent NTD 690 for a night, sharing room with someone I don’t know. It’s terrify but with some fun. And the leg of a crab I ate in dinner is almost same price with my room. And with beer I was sitting next to the department store to have a look on the passengers, the Taipei people.  

Everyone speak English quite well and they can frankly and easily making some jokes, conclusion and some business language or official talks. And most of them knows how to social or pretending t not to be themselves. It’s my first time to be such a meeting, and I am also sitting there representing a company. The first time I persuade myself to be more competitive no matter in radiation field or social parts. I am lucky to be there, and I wish I put something into my mind. Someday I would be there if I can keep being myself. After two days trip, I buy myself a cup of ChenshanDin bubble milk tea as a reward.

Brotherhood

已經老大不小了，今年過生日還在跟媽媽討論滿25/26，或是我幾歲，這標題有點過了。

週六晚間，家人相聚握著啤酒，吹著晚風，這是夏天的味道，今年的第一次。

週日晚間，跟哥哥去水庫釣魚，金旺上倆兄弟背著釣竿，騎著的路，曾經兩小騎著腳踏車快要上不去，十多年了吧。晚間，騎著車到水庫，荒林野道，有點像是清華清文倆兄弟出遊感覺，原來我家也有後花園，我也有兄弟。

應該算是荒涼的密境，叫我一個人晚上去還真是不可能，停好車，貓咪就出聲了，稍候跟著我們到釣點。晚上的水庫真還滿特別的，兩顆流星在天上劃過，滿滿的星星、涼風、還有一瓶18天限量版，讓我想到懇親會。離水不到一公尺，貓咪躺在我身旁，哥哥表演，先調整鉛片重量再來量水深，到餌的學問，這不是課本沒有的，這是凡人不會懂得東西。

小魚上鉤，比我先有反應的是貓咪，叫了幾聲，哥哥就把魚給她吃，第二隻一樣，第三隻他竟然沒有先喵喵叫，魚丟給她也不吃，魚就自己跳回水中了。哥哥說，如果釣到是大魚，貓咪不會叫，因為她知道大魚是屬於魚人的。跟貓咪已經是舊識十多年的哥哥，訴說著一些故事。

很特別的時光，一種世界轉他的，我過我的昇活感覺，水邊就覺得下次有機會，一定要找Buddy Girl體驗一下。

Life Style

記得自己在背GRE單字時候,很喜歡一個字,想要用來形容自己,但是我忘了現在,大概是漂泊的人之類的字眼.
這星期五在水木買了一隻冰棒,雪糕10塊錢,突然想到自己小時候,吃一支雪糕是多麼privilege的,應該是要一起去送牛奶,期待到某個華夏還什麼宿舍,爸爸會允許獎勵的給我們挑一個冰淇淋,God我還記得那感覺.曾經多回,爸爸去製瓶廠工作,我跟哥哥一人有10塊錢,兩個人就在雜貨店前,度過一個下午的時光.
每年金門週,我都要買高粱跟牛肉乾,現在看似裡所當然,但是這次在家裡一起吃,我才回想起,以前難得的全家出遊,到商店想要吃牛肉乾,大概五次才有一次買成吧,其他都是豬肉乾.學長有Baby了,買新的休旅車,但是我從小坐的車都是路上算很舊的,然後停在路上也不足為奇的,我家沒有買過新的汽車,或是說買過唯一的一輛新機車,也是小孩子買得.
This is my family. 雖然長大了,自己也賺錢了, 可以自由的應用金錢,也沒有在省過,但是有些基因或是生活習慣,還是長在我的身體裡,或是藏在我的血液裡.
雖然遇到人,幾乎的人都會說：要出國還不趕快,在那邊混日子.我承認我沒有太大so called的長進,但是我過得不錯,也在其中找到了一些東西. 我茫茫狀狀的過日子,這試那Try的, 才能裡出頭緒,我真的想要出國, 這些日子跟家庭裡的一些互動, 也滿深刻的. 我是一個從小覺得沒有被細心呵護的小孩,現在一些小細節,其實觀察到我還滿受到照顧的,或許這是以前沒有的體悟. 自己開始工作賺錢了,身份或是生活見識的,都有些不一樣,雖然還Involve在學校,但是有多跳出一些保護傘的感覺,從家庭裡學到一些功夫,現在自己去外頭看看,或許跟以前瞭解的有出入,但是我有一些不錯的Base了,現在就是要去乘風破浪,或是有著翅膀去翱翔世界了.

Back form Korea

出發前幾個小時,簡單的堆了行李,離開客廳家人時,有一種當兵收假的感覺,說真的,這是的旅行到韓國,好像就是搭車去台北,轉捷運的感覺,有點冷冰冰的.
飛機上44排是空服員對面的座位,有時候看看她眼睛,有時候腿,都是以欣賞的角度,一種愉快的感覺在起飛降落時候.這幾次出國,我沒有那樣欽羨機師了,但不免對著駕駛艙凝視數十分鐘.下到機場,坐捷運出關，跟我們自稱四小龍頭很不一樣的機場,巴士要開時,司機帶著白手套,跟大家敬禮，一切有大國的感覺.這樣與冷初邂逅,滿舒服的! 零度吧,第一次.一個人睡一間有暖氣的教授房間,我只有穿一件衣服褲子,簡單的尿尿後,鬧鐘調到一小時Ahead,睡覺去.
幾天研討會,除了零食吃了很多,還有燙口的咖啡,還有當暖氣逝去時,真的有寒冷.我收穫很多,這一次上課,一些冷冰冰的物理數學計算式,其實背後有很多的故事,我以前沒有被整樣整合起來,激發到,我喜歡這一次的會議,也喜歡觀察所有的人事物.
韓國的核能現在發展得很不錯,我想主要是有核能工業在撐,他們可以輸出電廠,發展自己的Code,上下一條心,教授八點來Lab,學生沒到就直接Call out,一天要工作12個小時,碩士生拿到2萬多的pay,三年碩班後,選擇念博班4萬多塊約三年,可以抵兩年的兵役,你說這不是上下一條心的配合嗎？可以講很多跟他們學生得互動,但是我要紀錄一下,我那天晚上喝很多,喝到一兩個星期後還不碰酒,我想是因為天氣太冷,我身體無法相平常一樣代謝,竟然晚上起床尿尿,有倒在地上,cool.喝酒帶回去的朋友還擔心了一下,隔天還要起大早,跟我老闆吃早餐,還有市區晃晃,計程車內不通風,我真的有想吐, 真是好經驗,如果在老闆旁吐出來的話.
遇到日本的一位教授,這次可真是中子物理各大師集合,我也在這領域打滾好一段時間,有點瞭解的階段了.我發現我以前讀過她一些Paper,每天她四點半起床,六點到Lab,七點回家過家庭生活,我想是一個學者的堅持,也是一個典範.
我喜歡這次的旅行,不是因為國家,是因為我找到了一些答案,也確立了一些不是想想或嘴巴說說的方向,韓國女生漂亮嗎?都長得一樣,可能不用喝酒醉,早上起床後,下午也認不出你們曾睡在一起.滿有趣的生態,電車上都在smart phone,我一直思考要如何賺他們的錢.最大的收穫就是去滑雪了,整天的行程,我流汗到裡面有鹽巴那種,不會運動的人要趕快讓自己身體動起來,以迎接未來的滑雪,有運動的人更要體驗,因為真的很難,需要很多技巧,才可以飛來帥去的.第一次入境北方在冬天,我又往前了一步！

Car Accident!

最近看了一些心理學的書,都覺得滿有道理的,大致是說未來的不確定性,以及人在做決定或是思考時候很容易受到謬誤而有自己的謬論.
不過昨天2/9號2012,上班前我跟媽兩個月沒有一同站在車前,說了說皮帶太大聲,我還澆澆水,備用水箱還有一半.下班時,一樣的熱車,我在車後吃橘子,覺得煙特別大.轉速降到一千轉時,煙小了一些.開在高速公路上,我總是很enjoy在計算自己的駕車評估感,以及跟自己說車子玻璃視野很好,滿好超車的.昨天我對車子特別有感情,上周末也第一次幫他上了妝,徹底洗淨,一直期待著帶著帳篷睡袋跟我喜愛的女性友人出遊,孰知女性友人未Found,車就Gone了.
一下頭份交流道,車子熄火,發不起來,不妙,迅速打閃燈,速度很快,我不可能下來推車as I always do,只好硬發一檔配離合器,吹阿吹,到路邊停下.36小時前我第一次開我的車來過這裡,現在老闆說,車沒救了.我能說什麼,心裡想跟他說車子妳可以讓他消失嗎?或是真的修不起來嗎? 我就笑笑的說,我走路回家吧.一路上,心情很平坦,幸運的是車子下交流道了,不幸的是我的汽車沒了.這叫一個正在存錢的年輕人,怎麼能接受.
媽媽說要賣掉雞蛋水餃股給我買新車,各親戚都幫我想辦法,媽說了一句買新車也好,不然我們家的車到哪裡都是最舊的,沒辦法,這就是我的家庭,他媽省的客家人.其實我覺得這事件有意思,說不上Interesting,但值得我玩味.最後,最簡單的就是what happen it would happened,還是開開心心的喝二鍋頭配上許久未吃的湯仔雞.今天騎腳踏車去上班,說真的就Interesting了,平常帶上班的電腦跟一些文件,今天都沒帶,我還是活得好好的,是不是人每日每夜中,都尋求以及攬一些非必要性的人事物情緒的在身上心理,但卻不是那樣不可或缺的,所以開開心心舒服的Be yourself. 想什麼都沒用,做什麼都沒差,一切都是命與運.看到笛伴老師寄給我們的信,真的很窩心,分享經驗給我們這些年輕的後輩,激勵及提醒我們.
昨天晚上沒了車子,但是大家一起吃晚飯,吃10塊成本的海藻蛋,敦成茶葉蛋,還有茶葉茶二鍋頭及湯仔雞,有什麼比這樣家人聚在一起更有意思的.
我不知道我這樣的生活可以多久,早上隨意地騎腳踏車出發,吃飯睡覺下班,都可以隨興,晚上能回家吃晚餐,還有維生的薪水,沒什麼好比的,因為我Born this way.
我開爛了兩台車,加起來有45年的車!!

New year

A year pass, I am almost not 25.

過年期間，逢許多家人，有時候的一個想法，一個經驗談，都會記在心理，我就是這樣長大的。

一樣米養百樣人，每個人都又長處短處，也都有自己的脾氣。Just live with that!

能多做就多做，沒什麼好計較的，不要只會說官話。

出去外面不要亂喝酒，小心下一個被詐賭的對象。

前幾個月開始退伍，Pilot Fail，拒絕工作機會，與許多人談天說愛，總有很多時候需要很多決定。但是現覺得，好像決定要不要，考慮是不是，都不是我能改變什麼的，好像都是水到渠成，很多力量惑在一起所導致的。真正要預測的東西，不會像你想的一樣，像你想的一樣的卻又常被遺忘，總想著希望的卻沒發生的。總統大選前，我想過誰選上後會怎樣，也想過股市會怎樣，真的沒有什麼是我所想清楚的，所以該怎麼辦呢，這些黑天鵝效應。即使想到了，卻也沒有真正的行動，真他媽的Ambiguous as the book said.

過年買了一個禮物給自己，享受一下經濟上自主的愉悅。上一次買腳踏車，給了我一隻手斷，這一次買公路車，應該會Lead me to somewhere else。我要的是什麼，現在也說不清了，我記得之前看文章，要記得自己年輕時的眼神，我想我會記得，並且會繼續的moving。一年半年過去了，想想身邊跟我說一些話的人，真有些很貼切，怎麼可以就像你說的一樣的發生，哪時候沒有體悟道，但總是會發生化學變化的。

我現在頭腦理想的都是賺錢，如果一個人的生命中賺的錢是固定的，那我就有點枉費了這段時間，或許，把自己的照顧好，也是目前我可以經營的。身邊許許多多的長輩都退休了，一個退休的人要活的好，還真是需要些智慧，而這些智慧就是點點滴滴累積起來的吧，工作中的我，也是著讓自己不要笨來笨去的，呆過一次，就給下次更好的方向。